Zen and the art of Motorbike driving.

Shops are empty. Restaurants are empty. The city is empty. Hồ Chí Minh has turned into a scene from a Zombie apocalypse movie and the streets emptied of human life. For those who haven’t prepared by stocking up on supplies, it is going to be a difficult week. New Year is nearly here. Now is the time to talk about Driving in Vietnam.

Before I get into the “how to”, I should say I don’t really encourage anyone to drive in Vietnam unless you already have plenty of experience driving a motorbike. Vietnamese traffic is treacherous! I am not suggesting that you drive as much as I am writing about the philosophy of motorbike driving in Vietnam, specifically the beauty of order amongst the chaos.

I am told that a person does not need a driver’s license for what the locals would call a student driver’s license. These are typically anything less than 50cc and include many e-bikes. The lowest driver’s license is an A1 for vehicles between 50cc and 175cc. Please double check this information because this information could have changed by the time you read this. I am told that student drivers do not even need to wear a helmet, but anyone who doesn’t wear a helmet in Vietnam is a fool. I consider helmets mandatory if you want to keep that prefrontal cortex intact (…you know, that part of your brain that makes you human).

An iconic model for students is the Honda Cub which has several engine sizes including a 50cc engine. The first Cub was introduced in 1967 and they start to trail off in the 1990’s to early 2000’s. I am told they are still in production, but most of the Cubs on the market are unofficial reproductions. They have an amazing retro look and are still very popular among students today.

The Philosophy: you are a fish.

It really should be noted, driving a motorbike in Vietnam is more of a type of meditation than an actual mode of transportation. You don’t really drive a motorbike as much as the flow of traffic drives you. As you enter into the complete chaos of the streets of Hồ Chí Minh, a person must turn off their conscious brain and summon their primal energies. An individual driver will always get into trouble, so you must behave like a fish within a larger school of fish. When the crowd turns, you turn. No matter how much it may seem like everyone is doing something crazy, you must follow. …drive on the sidewalk, no problem. …drive on the wrong side of the street, no problem. Try to stop because there is a small traffic incident in front of you, then you have a problem. You must not interfere with the forward movement of traffic. Remember, you are a fish and you follow the school!

What about when the traffic is going a way you don’t want to go? Again, you are a fish and you follow the school. Traffic in Vietnam goes in many different directions and sometimes you need to make a couple of lefts and a couple of rights to stay on the same route you are driving. You may not realize that the road ahead is closed or that there is some construction, but everyone else around you does. Typically, you just want to follow where everyone else is going unless you know the area.

Next, you must be a Zen master. It is so easy to get upset when a person cuts in front of you and slams on the brakes. People are going to tap your motorbike occasionally and maybe cause a tiny scratch. Typically give a smile and a wave and say “Không sao đâu” (no problem) and everyone is on their way. An accident isn’t worth arguing about when it only costs $20 USD and a relaxing couple hour visit to a nearby cà phê shop to repair the damage. …so go about your life.

Traffic circles and left turns are the truly chaotic aspect of driving. It is hard to put into words the anxiety of having motorbikes coming from the left and right and behind you all at the same time with everyone going in different directions. How many times do I look at the insanity of the road and wonder “How can there not be more accidents?” This is the magnificent ballet of Vietnamese driving. If you could imagine an aerial view, you would see hundreds of cars entering an intersection at nearly full speed with everyone going in different directions and somehow avoiding every other vehicle on the road and still making it out alive (mostly). If you want to see an amazing scene of beautiful chaos, look at these YouTube videos below. …notice how no one is stopping in the left turn lanes? Typically, everyone just bunches together to turn and when enough people join, a large crowd of people turn. 

Another common site you may see is large groups of people on a single motorbike. It isn’t unusual to see a family of four or five on a single motorbike. Occasionally, you might see some scenes like Bing Copilot was nice enough to create for me, with a bit of uncanny valley thrown in.

It is a truly magnificent scene when a person finally learns to see the beauty of Vietnamese driving. When you start to look at driving this way, the traffic and chaos transform from something scary or intimidating into something majestic like looking at a flock of birds migrating for the winter or a massive school of fish racing away from a predatory fish.